This is it -- in the world of television, this is premiere week -- the week when re-runs (hopefully!) go away and brand-spanking-new TV shows are here.
I usually have one or two shows that I'm looking forward to viewing -- and usually I'd be talking about them...but not this year.
You see, I have come to a conclusion -- however un-scientific: I am the Kiss of Death to any new TV show that hopes to exist beyond three episodes.
It's true.
I don't watch a ton of television -- mostly because television doesn't cater to my often perceived as unusual interests. But every now and again, a new show will capture my imagination...
Like...
"The Dresden Files"
"New Amsterdam"
"Blood Ties"
Not heard of these shows? I'm not surprised...because they are GONE. There but briefly ... literary, dare I say thought-provoking television! A bit of fantasy...a touch of the superhero...even a bit of the goth.
But the biggest thing they have in common is that I enjoyed them. Couldn't even tell you when they were "really" on...as I TIVO anything I'm vaguely interested in...
But, as soon as I publicly express interest in them...GONE!
As soon as I start recommending them to friends and acquaintances? GONE.
I could name a dozen other shows that have met the "Laura Likes it Kiss of Death" fate...but I won't...
And there are even a few shows this fall that I'm looking forward to...but you won't hear me mention them until at LEAST half way through the season...don't want to jinx them too early...
Oh, if you're dying to know, shoot me an email... but don't say I didn't warn you!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
...a problem I didn't even know I had!
Don't you just love when companies solve non-existent problems?
My current favorite is for a new front loading washing machine. You've probably seen the TV commercial -- a poor woman being CHASED by an enormous ball of clothes -- SIX MONTHS worth of laundry that she hasn't done!
It's overwhelming! Oh the humanity! She tries to hide her children!
The solution?
She should buy this fancy new washing machine -- it will solve her problem because it allows the owner to "pre-load" six months worth of laundry detergent into it.
Yes!
Clearly THIS is clearly the biggest issue facing folks doing laundry -- the ever-so-difficult task of pouring the DETERGENT into the MACHINE!
The company must have done massive research -- probably paid hundreds of thousands of dollars -- to a research firm that came back to them with a report like this:
"Last year more than 10,000 men and women with clothes cleaning responsibilities reported that issues with pouring the detergent into the machine was creating an obstacle to getting laundry done."
"Laundry detergent spillage-based accidents accounted for more than 500 slip and fall emergency room visits!"
"Five out of every ten stay-at-home mom's reported shoulder pain directly related to lifting laundry detergent bottles!"
Silliness...pure silliness!
I'd buy a new washer for really only ONE reason -- my current one has died and is beyond repair.
Once the memorial service was complete, I -- like most folks in need of a washer -- would probably be interested in capacity, energy efficiency, water usage, and warranty.
Maybe, if I'm REALLY feeling adventurous, a couple of fancy 'cycles' that I didn't have before?
But clearly this company believes that the most important part of the decision will be how many months of detergent I can pre-load into it!
NEW Coke anyone?
My current favorite is for a new front loading washing machine. You've probably seen the TV commercial -- a poor woman being CHASED by an enormous ball of clothes -- SIX MONTHS worth of laundry that she hasn't done!
It's overwhelming! Oh the humanity! She tries to hide her children!
The solution?
She should buy this fancy new washing machine -- it will solve her problem because it allows the owner to "pre-load" six months worth of laundry detergent into it.
Yes!
Clearly THIS is clearly the biggest issue facing folks doing laundry -- the ever-so-difficult task of pouring the DETERGENT into the MACHINE!
The company must have done massive research -- probably paid hundreds of thousands of dollars -- to a research firm that came back to them with a report like this:
"Last year more than 10,000 men and women with clothes cleaning responsibilities reported that issues with pouring the detergent into the machine was creating an obstacle to getting laundry done."
"Laundry detergent spillage-based accidents accounted for more than 500 slip and fall emergency room visits!"
"Five out of every ten stay-at-home mom's reported shoulder pain directly related to lifting laundry detergent bottles!"
Silliness...pure silliness!
I'd buy a new washer for really only ONE reason -- my current one has died and is beyond repair.
Once the memorial service was complete, I -- like most folks in need of a washer -- would probably be interested in capacity, energy efficiency, water usage, and warranty.
Maybe, if I'm REALLY feeling adventurous, a couple of fancy 'cycles' that I didn't have before?
But clearly this company believes that the most important part of the decision will be how many months of detergent I can pre-load into it!
NEW Coke anyone?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
It's a Bird! It's a Plane!
I have always had an affinity...some would say an obsession with the Man of Steel -- Superman!
Other super heroes may come and go in popularity, but for me, Superman is, well, the MAN! I collect super memorabilia, live for new comic books and get unnaturally excited by new TV series and new movies.
I'm not alone -- there are many of us, and we even count Jerry Seinfeld and Shaq among our fellow devotees.
Number one question I am asked by people -- particularly Laura-newcomers -- is "what's with the Superman thing?" It must seem odd to folks that a Masterpiece Theatre aficionado with an art history minor and an unholy love of Miss America would also be a Superman gal...but I am.
So here's the answer: It all goes back to my Dad.
When I was very young, my Dad took me to a traveling arena show called "Disney on Parade" -- basically a predecessor to "Disney on Ice" with all the Disney characters performing in a traveling show. I must have been about 7 years old.
Frankly the show didn't do too much for me...until the second act...when Peter Pan actually flew into the arena...I was mesmerized!
He could fly!
To hear my Dad tell the story, I became obsessed with flight...ran around the house jumping off things (which made him nervous, to say the least). I think it was an attempt to get me to stop playing Peter Pan that first brought Superman into our lives.
I mean, let's be honest...Pan was cool...but mostly flew around not accomplishing too much.
I remember the day he first brought home a Superman comic for me -- it wasn't a "real" comic, it was a promotional comic promoting "Superfriends" -- a Saturday morning cartoon show that his TV station was soon to begin airing.
But I was drawn immediately to Superman -- he could fly! And he helped people! And frankly, there was NO ONE with more talent among the Superfriends:
Wonder woman needed the invisible (lame!) plane...Aquaman was NO HELP outside of the ocean -- and if you took the gadgetry away from Batman, all you had left was an obnoxious rich guy.
Superman was the REAL DEAL.
He appealed to me on so many levels -- strange visitor from another planet (which was how I felt most of the time!) Dual identity -- mild-mannered reporter by day! And he could always save the day!
But it was the Christopher Reeve film two years later that really captured my imagination.
I remember seeing the trailer before a Disney film:
The John Williams score...and then the words flying across the screen:
YOU
WILL
BELIEVE
A
MAN
CAN
FLY!
When the film opened...no one other than Dad would go with me... and when Superman first took off over Metropolis, I recall thinking that nothing could ever be better than this!
Me...and my Dad...and Superman!
We loved it so much, we stayed for the second show!
And a monster...er...FAN...was born!
Thirty years later I still enjoy my love affair with Superman -- still obsessed with all things Kryptonian.
And I still can't think of Superman or crack open a comic, without thinking of me and my Dad...sitting in the dark theatre...believing a man could fly...
Other super heroes may come and go in popularity, but for me, Superman is, well, the MAN! I collect super memorabilia, live for new comic books and get unnaturally excited by new TV series and new movies.
I'm not alone -- there are many of us, and we even count Jerry Seinfeld and Shaq among our fellow devotees.
Number one question I am asked by people -- particularly Laura-newcomers -- is "what's with the Superman thing?" It must seem odd to folks that a Masterpiece Theatre aficionado with an art history minor and an unholy love of Miss America would also be a Superman gal...but I am.
So here's the answer: It all goes back to my Dad.
When I was very young, my Dad took me to a traveling arena show called "Disney on Parade" -- basically a predecessor to "Disney on Ice" with all the Disney characters performing in a traveling show. I must have been about 7 years old.
Frankly the show didn't do too much for me...until the second act...when Peter Pan actually flew into the arena...I was mesmerized!
He could fly!
To hear my Dad tell the story, I became obsessed with flight...ran around the house jumping off things (which made him nervous, to say the least). I think it was an attempt to get me to stop playing Peter Pan that first brought Superman into our lives.
I mean, let's be honest...Pan was cool...but mostly flew around not accomplishing too much.
I remember the day he first brought home a Superman comic for me -- it wasn't a "real" comic, it was a promotional comic promoting "Superfriends" -- a Saturday morning cartoon show that his TV station was soon to begin airing.
But I was drawn immediately to Superman -- he could fly! And he helped people! And frankly, there was NO ONE with more talent among the Superfriends:
Wonder woman needed the invisible (lame!) plane...Aquaman was NO HELP outside of the ocean -- and if you took the gadgetry away from Batman, all you had left was an obnoxious rich guy.
Superman was the REAL DEAL.
He appealed to me on so many levels -- strange visitor from another planet (which was how I felt most of the time!) Dual identity -- mild-mannered reporter by day! And he could always save the day!
But it was the Christopher Reeve film two years later that really captured my imagination.
I remember seeing the trailer before a Disney film:
The John Williams score...and then the words flying across the screen:
YOU
WILL
BELIEVE
A
MAN
CAN
FLY!
When the film opened...no one other than Dad would go with me... and when Superman first took off over Metropolis, I recall thinking that nothing could ever be better than this!
Me...and my Dad...and Superman!
We loved it so much, we stayed for the second show!
And a monster...er...FAN...was born!
Thirty years later I still enjoy my love affair with Superman -- still obsessed with all things Kryptonian.
And I still can't think of Superman or crack open a comic, without thinking of me and my Dad...sitting in the dark theatre...believing a man could fly...
Friday, August 1, 2008
...and I lived to tell about it!
Last Friday, the UNTHINKABLE happened!
I went an entire day without my Blackberry!
AND it was a day that I was on the road -- meaning six hours in the car; four hours in various meetings -- and no cell phone! No email!
The thing was dead. Dead I tell you!
And I didn't realize it until I was half-way to Philadelphia.
After the initial panic -- I mean, I did have three other electronic gadgets in the car with me -- a GPS unit, my Amazon Kindle, and my iPod -- not to mention my laptop -- I relaxed a bit.
By "a bit" I mean about 30 seconds.
And then I started smelling burnt toast!
(Side note for the uninitiated to "Stocker-isms" -- smelling burnt toast is a sign of a person having a stroke!)
By Lancaster I had taken the thing apart -- yes! -- it is possible to drive and take apart your Blackberry at the same time! Safely!
I did a hard re-start -- NOTHING!
By Morgantown I was in a cold sweat -- no phone! What if the car died? What if I got a flat tire? Could I rely on my "looks" to get someone to pull over and help me?
By the time I got to my client in King of Prussia I could barely see straight. My hands were actually shaking and I was in a cold sweat... what if the office needed me? What if another client was in distress?
I mean, come on! I had been incommunicado for almost 1 and 1/2 hours!
I remember NOTHING about the actual client meeting.
I actually had to ask my client if there was a phone I could use to call into the office! Which then brought up another issue -- I had to stop and think -- really think -- about what the office number was? I have it on speed-dial on the Blackberry!
And worse?
When I called into the office to share my distress -- no one really seemed concerned!
So it was off to Allentown for the second meeting of the day.
I honestly think I would have had a complete meltdown if not for the soothing voice of my Garmin Nuvi GPS telling me to "turn left" and "turn right."
After the second meeting I flew back to the office -- arriving about 4:30. Now normally, I would have just gone straight home at that point in the day...but I was so convinced that my professional world was burning down around me that I needed to stop in and read email -- allay the fears of clients who wouldn't have been able to reach me during this crisis.
Co-workers looked startled to see me!
I raced to hook up my laptop and access the network -- 187 emails in my inbox!
Okay -- half were spam!
And the other half were important -- but not life-altering.
Everyone was fine.
Most people, when I replied, explaining the delay in my reply, hadn't even noticed!
Sigh...
Needless to say, I got a new battery on Saturday!
My name is Laura...and I am a techno-junkie...
I went an entire day without my Blackberry!
AND it was a day that I was on the road -- meaning six hours in the car; four hours in various meetings -- and no cell phone! No email!
The thing was dead. Dead I tell you!
And I didn't realize it until I was half-way to Philadelphia.
After the initial panic -- I mean, I did have three other electronic gadgets in the car with me -- a GPS unit, my Amazon Kindle, and my iPod -- not to mention my laptop -- I relaxed a bit.
By "a bit" I mean about 30 seconds.
And then I started smelling burnt toast!
(Side note for the uninitiated to "Stocker-isms" -- smelling burnt toast is a sign of a person having a stroke!)
By Lancaster I had taken the thing apart -- yes! -- it is possible to drive and take apart your Blackberry at the same time! Safely!
I did a hard re-start -- NOTHING!
By Morgantown I was in a cold sweat -- no phone! What if the car died? What if I got a flat tire? Could I rely on my "looks" to get someone to pull over and help me?
By the time I got to my client in King of Prussia I could barely see straight. My hands were actually shaking and I was in a cold sweat... what if the office needed me? What if another client was in distress?
I mean, come on! I had been incommunicado for almost 1 and 1/2 hours!
I remember NOTHING about the actual client meeting.
I actually had to ask my client if there was a phone I could use to call into the office! Which then brought up another issue -- I had to stop and think -- really think -- about what the office number was? I have it on speed-dial on the Blackberry!
And worse?
When I called into the office to share my distress -- no one really seemed concerned!
So it was off to Allentown for the second meeting of the day.
I honestly think I would have had a complete meltdown if not for the soothing voice of my Garmin Nuvi GPS telling me to "turn left" and "turn right."
After the second meeting I flew back to the office -- arriving about 4:30. Now normally, I would have just gone straight home at that point in the day...but I was so convinced that my professional world was burning down around me that I needed to stop in and read email -- allay the fears of clients who wouldn't have been able to reach me during this crisis.
Co-workers looked startled to see me!
I raced to hook up my laptop and access the network -- 187 emails in my inbox!
Okay -- half were spam!
And the other half were important -- but not life-altering.
Everyone was fine.
Most people, when I replied, explaining the delay in my reply, hadn't even noticed!
Needless to say, I got a new battery on Saturday!
My name is Laura...and I am a techno-junkie...
Friday, July 18, 2008
Always and ForNever!
I just despise the words "always" and "never."
Actually, I should clarify...I hate the constant MISUSE of the words "always" and "never."
It usually goes something like this:
"You ALWAYS forget to take out the trash!"
"I can NEVER find my car keys!"
Now, if the person in question, has, without a doubt, ALWAYS forgotten to take out the trash, then I have no problem with the usage.
al·ways
[awl-weyz, -weez] –adverb
1. every time; on every occasion; without exception
nev·er
[nev-er] –adverb
1. not ever; at no time
But, folks rarely use the words as intended. And that's what makes me nuts.
We have somehow begun using "always" and "never" to mean "sometimes."
Now clearly, "sometimes" does not have the drama quotient of "always" or "never" -- consider how, well DULL and wishy washy the following phrases now sound:
"You sometimes forget to take out the trash."
"I sometimes can't find my car keys."
And while I'm on a roll...I'd also like to take back the word "awesome."
It makes me slightly crazy to hear people using the word "awesome" to describe things that are, well, clearly less than awesome:
"Thank you so much for your help -- that was awesome!"
Now, if the "help" provided was truly earth-shattering, life-affirming or otherwise inspiring of 'awe', I have no issues.
But let's be truthful here -- the Grand Canyon is awesome. The miracle of birth is awesome.
Getting someone a cup of coffee? A very nice thing to do, but, let's face it -- NOT awesome.
Perhaps because there are so few truly awesome moments in life, we feel the need to elevate the 'nice but ordinary?'
Oh well...I would NEVER do that -- I guess because I'm ALWAYS right!
(tee hee)
Actually, I should clarify...I hate the constant MISUSE of the words "always" and "never."
It usually goes something like this:
"You ALWAYS forget to take out the trash!"
"I can NEVER find my car keys!"
Now, if the person in question, has, without a doubt, ALWAYS forgotten to take out the trash, then I have no problem with the usage.
al·ways
[awl-weyz, -weez] –adverb
1. every time; on every occasion; without exception
nev·er
[nev-er] –adverb
1. not ever; at no time
But, folks rarely use the words as intended. And that's what makes me nuts.
We have somehow begun using "always" and "never" to mean "sometimes."
Now clearly, "sometimes" does not have the drama quotient of "always" or "never" -- consider how, well DULL and wishy washy the following phrases now sound:
"You sometimes forget to take out the trash."
"I sometimes can't find my car keys."
And while I'm on a roll...I'd also like to take back the word "awesome."
It makes me slightly crazy to hear people using the word "awesome" to describe things that are, well, clearly less than awesome:
"Thank you so much for your help -- that was awesome!"
Now, if the "help" provided was truly earth-shattering, life-affirming or otherwise inspiring of 'awe', I have no issues.
But let's be truthful here -- the Grand Canyon is awesome. The miracle of birth is awesome.
Getting someone a cup of coffee? A very nice thing to do, but, let's face it -- NOT awesome.
Perhaps because there are so few truly awesome moments in life, we feel the need to elevate the 'nice but ordinary?'
Oh well...I would NEVER do that -- I guess because I'm ALWAYS right!
(tee hee)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Go ahead -- call me an @$$ hole one more time...
Saw a great film whilst on vacation -- Hancock -- starring Will Smith.
Love, love, LOVED it!
Now, I should preface this by saying that I am definitely pre-disposed to enjoy movies in the 'superhero' genre -- with Superman always being a perennial favorite.
But what I liked most about Hancock was that Will Smith's character was really an "anti-superhero" -- he hated his abilities and seemed to go out of his way to annoy the people he was rescuing...along with destroying their personal property!
But it all changes when he saves the life of a Public Relations pro -- who then decides to help Hancock change his image.
Having been a PR pro myself in a past life, the idea of a superhero teaming up with someone like me had real appeal.
There are also several big twists and turns in the film -- the biggest of which I never, ever saw coming -- and I LOVE that sort of movie!
So, go go go!
Now I can't WAIT for The Dark Knight -- Hancock just whetted my appetite!
Love, love, LOVED it!
Now, I should preface this by saying that I am definitely pre-disposed to enjoy movies in the 'superhero' genre -- with Superman always being a perennial favorite.
But what I liked most about Hancock was that Will Smith's character was really an "anti-superhero" -- he hated his abilities and seemed to go out of his way to annoy the people he was rescuing...along with destroying their personal property!
But it all changes when he saves the life of a Public Relations pro -- who then decides to help Hancock change his image.
Having been a PR pro myself in a past life, the idea of a superhero teaming up with someone like me had real appeal.
There are also several big twists and turns in the film -- the biggest of which I never, ever saw coming -- and I LOVE that sort of movie!
So, go go go!
Now I can't WAIT for The Dark Knight -- Hancock just whetted my appetite!
Everybody was kung foo fighting!
Just back from a glorious week at the shore -- beautiful South Jersey!
You know that relaxed in the car feeling...listening to some tunes on the radio. Hubby found a neat oldies station -- mostly 70's and 80's music...
When all of a sudden...a song I hadn't heard in least 20 years...
"Oh oh oh oh"
(imagine Chinese restaurant musak)
"Oh oh oh oh"
Wait for it...
"Everybody was Kung foo fighting!"
Immediate flash back to my childhood playroom and my sister and the neighbor girl choreographing a musical dance/baton number to this little ditty.
Worse -- I can still picture the choreography...the two of them entering from opposite sides of the room, geisha like, and then bowing to each other in the middle...before leaping into a series of hitch kicks with swinging batons!
And then the INEVITABLE 'dings' in the dropped ceiling -- which made my father NUTS!
My contribution to this?
Easy -- I'm the one who showed them how to flip the ceiling tiles so that the "dings" would no longer show.
You know that relaxed in the car feeling...listening to some tunes on the radio. Hubby found a neat oldies station -- mostly 70's and 80's music...
When all of a sudden...a song I hadn't heard in least 20 years...
"Oh oh oh oh"
(imagine Chinese restaurant musak)
"Oh oh oh oh"
Wait for it...
"Everybody was Kung foo fighting!"
Immediate flash back to my childhood playroom and my sister and the neighbor girl choreographing a musical dance/baton number to this little ditty.
Worse -- I can still picture the choreography...the two of them entering from opposite sides of the room, geisha like, and then bowing to each other in the middle...before leaping into a series of hitch kicks with swinging batons!
And then the INEVITABLE 'dings' in the dropped ceiling -- which made my father NUTS!
My contribution to this?
Easy -- I'm the one who showed them how to flip the ceiling tiles so that the "dings" would no longer show.
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