I will admit to a certain fondness for the often-reviled institution known as the "Christmas Letter" - we've all gotten them -- those missives tucked into Christmas Cards that outline all the successes of the previous year -- along the lines of:
"Bob finally was made president of the golf club, which is a miracle when you consider how much time he devoted to Doctor's Without Borders this year. Of course, both our sons are also physicians, and they were able to help him when they weren't busy immunizing Somalian children and raising money for Easter Seals (Bob Jr. is chapter chairman!). And we continue to be proud of little Susie who got a scholarship to dance with the Joffrey Ballet all the while maintaining her 4.0 grade point average and lettering in lacrosse."
Now do not misunderstand - most of the letters I receive, I greatly look forward to - I enjoy hearing about what folks have been up to - particularly those I don't get to see very often.
I'm referring to the over-the-top communiques - those letters that appear to only present the brilliance, with no regard for the everyday. I once got a letter that was so pretentious it actually required a dictionary to understand.
One line stuck with me: "After years of demonstrating her exceptional engineering acumen, Beth is now at the center of our domestic tranquility, managing our household with aplomb and much self-sacrifice."
Translation: Beth got fired from her job and is now a stay-at-home Mom.
It took me almost five minutes to figure it out.
And I'm a Phi Beta Kappa who, when I'm not busy saving the world one fundraising event at a time, spends her spare time creating sculpture out of recycled materials that I find while taking underprivileged children on nature walks. Of course, this is when I have a few spare minutes between teaching English as a second language and skydiving...
Oooo...better grab my pen...I sense a letter coming on...
;-)
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