Once upon a mattress...

I love to sleep. At the end of a day, long or otherwise, little pleases me more than to climb beneath the sheets and settle in for the night.

When I was first married, my new husband and I shared a double-bed. He had been single for some years and it was brand new – he’d purchased a lovely Oak bedroom set weeks before we’d started dating.

The subsequent purchase of a king-sized bed some months into our marriage probably saved us from killing each other.

When it comes to sleep, we are polar opposites – he climbs into bed, assumes the position, and doesn’t move for the rest of the night. I climb into bed and begin what he calls my nightly gymnastics exhibition. I’ll admit it – I’m a sleeping mover and shaker – a cover hog who both talks and sings in her sleep and has been known to grind her teeth when stressed. He likes a firm mattress…I prefer to cocoon myself in a feather bed.

I generally go up to bed three hours before he does – so most nights when he enters the bedroom, he says he must physically move me to make room for himself. He then climbs in, back to me, and hangs on to the night stand for dear life.

As soon as he’s in the bed, I am drawn to him – no -- get your mind out of the gutter – it’s his large bare back – better than a space heater when it comes to warmth. But what I view as snuggling, he views as me trying to push him out of bed. Keep in mind, throughout all of this, I never actually wake up.

He has literally worn the finish off his nightstand – holding on to it whilst he sleeps these last fifteen years.

And when I am asleep – I am ASLEEP. As a child our neighbor’s house burned to the ground – and I slept through it. Many is the morning when hubby will say to me “how about that storm last night?” and I am thinking “what storm?”

But there is one area in the world of the master bedroom in which we agree – we are linen snobs. We both absolutely love 400 thread count sheets, pillow cases, and duvets. We didn’t start out that way – our early sheet sets – most likely wedding gifts – were fine – honestly I don’t think we ever thought about sheets one way or another. And then, about five years ago, we noticed that our sheets were actually wearing out – fitted sheets falling off the bed, etc. So I bought some new linens.

A life changing experience. Truly.

I put the new sheets on the bed and climbed in that first night – nirvana! So much so that I got out of bed and went downstairs to tell him how wonderful the new sheets were – much to his amusement. I know he thought I was nuts, going on for ten minutes about sheets.

That is until he climbed into bed a few hours later. His positive commentary actually woke me up! And the next day I heard him on the phone with one of his friends – “you wouldn’t believe these sheets Laura got!”

That Christmas everyone on our list received – you guessed it – “the sheets.”

Converts all.

It’s gotten to the point where Sunday night – known as Clean Sheet Night at our house – is my favorite night of the week.

Even the dog isn’t allowed on the bed on Clean Sheet Night.