"We should probably NOT mention this to your Mother..."

I can only think of two secrets that my Dad and I shared, over our 38 years together. Neither was truly horrific or life-altering, but they were both incidents that within our tight knit family, only he and I were privy to.

Both were embarrassing (although I didn't think so at the time) and both are most definitely part of the reason why I can never run for public office (you just know that's when the photos would surface!)

Each event would end with these now famous (at least to me!) words: "We should probably NOT mention this to your Mother."

But an email from a friend this morning, brought the memories of incident #1 back to the surface.

I LOVED being a Girl Scout! I was a member of Hemlock Council Girl Scout Troop 1021 for years -- beginning when I was in third grade and continuing, well, until -- well, that's the story.

To me being a Girl Scout represented so many things - and so many opportunities for achievement. I enjoyed being my patrol leader, fundraising, and earning merit badges. I LIVED to earn merit badges and still have my completely covered Girl Scout sash -- which, with little encouragement I am happy to dig out and show to visitors to my home.

(Who am I kidding with the "dig out" -- I know exactly where it is at all times -- on the same shelf with some of my other trophies and tiaras.)

Scouting appealed to my mildly competitive nature as well -- my patrol was the BEST -- no other patrol could do as many sit-ups, pitch a tent faster, or sing The Smile Song in perfect four part harmony! And don't even ask about Cookie sales -- NO ONE could move boxes of Thin Mints like I could!

I took Scouting seriously.

In my mind, I was well on my way to my Gold Award - the Girl Scout equivalent to the coveted Eagle Scout honor.

Even as a kid I only knew two speeds: on and off. "On" is ON - full steam ahead, get out of my way if you know what's good for you -- I'm the original GO FIGHT WIN girl!

"Off" is basically when I'm asleep.

This attitude did not always win me many friends among my patrol members - but they sure enjoyed earning those merit badges with me during the annual award ceremony.

One year in particular I had truly excelled -- to the point where I was asked to represent my troop at the National Juliette Low Day ceremony in Washington DC. I was 13 or 14 and could not have been more excited.

Further, I was asked to introduce the Keynote Speaker!

I worked for weeks on my speech - which was truly only about 8 sentences (after all, although I might have pretended otherwise, I was NOT the Keynote Speaker...)

The day before the trip I was practicing my "speech" with my Dad -- he was a fabulous speaker and I wanted to soak up everything I could -- in my mind this little speech could open doors for me that I couldn't even imagine! Who knew what Hollywood talent scouts might be in attendance (a stretch, I now realize...) -- I wanted my speech to sizzle and be memorable! No one would ever forget the name Laura Baker!

And my poor father didn't even realize the series of events he was setting into motion when he told his 13 year old daughter that "it's always a good idea to begin a speech with a joke - a bit of humor."

Less than 24 hours later, I got up in front of the assembled crowd in DC and announced that I thought we should change the name of the organization from "Girl Scouts" to "Women Scouts" and forgo the annual cookie sale in favor of prostitution.

I'm certain I didn't even know what prostitution was -- just that it was a way to "make money."

To say that no one laughed would be an understatement.

My troop leaders were utterly mortified and I was removed from the stage and returned home quickly.

Three days later I came home from the 7th grade to find my father waiting for me -- a registered letter from the Girl Scouts in his hand.

I was no longer a member.

I was officially booted from Girl Scouts.

I didn't even have to tell him what happened -- it was all in the letter. And, having read it, he immediately understood his "part" in what had occurred.

I'm sure I cried on his lap until my sisters got home. And then he uttered those now famous words: "We should probably NOT mention this to your Mother..."

And we never did.

Now 29 years later, I've been asked to participate in a one-time Girl Scout event -- and I'm excited about the possibility -- but trust me: no jokes this time around!