M is for the many things she gave me...

Most people don’t have a choice when it comes to their Mom – you simply get the one that gave birth to you, and that’s that.

I, on the other hand, am one of the fortunate who had an actual “say” in the matter – because my Mom became my Mom when I was seven years old – and while my father thought the sun rose and set just for her, he did ask me if I would like it if his ‘then’ girlfriend, would become my mother.

My answer? A resounding YES!

And this was even BEFORE she took me to see Donny Osmond in concert – just us two!

When I think back on those early days, now as an adult – I am frankly amazed that she took us all on. She was about 24 years old, married a man ten years her senior, moved to another state and had an instant family of four kids!

When I think about was I was doing at 24 – shoot, when I think about where I am in life NOW – I can’t imagine myself leaving the only home I’ve ever known and being an instant mother of four. I can picture it – but I’m picturing myself in the loony bin, whilst Mary Poppins takes care of the kidlets!

It could not have been easy for her – on any level – and let me tell you – we were MORE than just a handful!

In that first year alone, I can count at LEAST five trips to the emergency room (we’re a clumsy bunch), two softball teams that she coached, and one birthday cake accidentally set ablaze.
While much of my personality can be attributed to my father – I learned much from Mom too – and some of the most important lessons:

1. Good manners – we were pretty much heathens when Mom came on the scene – and she not only taught us rudimentary etiquette, but why manners were important. I’ll never forget the dinner where I embarrassed a school friend (loudly) by drawing attention to the fact that she was not using the right fork for her salad. Mom yanked me into the kitchen and told me that “we do NOT beat up people with our manners – we honor them by using our manners” – that has stayed with me and been much quoted.

2. Reading – Mom quietly began replacing candy and Barbie’s as “treats” with books. Friends were amazed that our Easter baskets were filled with books and not candy. She was the first to suggest that if was “bored” I crack open a book. She instigated library day – the one day a week we’d all go and ‘stock up’ for the week.

3. Try Everything – Mom’s rule for almost any situation! You didn’t have to eat a plate of clams – but you had to at least try them. You didn’t have to stick with anything you hated – whether it was volleyball, Girl Scouts, or playing baritone horn – but you had to try it. To this very day, I’ll “try” almost anything at least once!

4. Don’t be Average – another powerful life lesson. The first (and last) time I brought home a “C” on my report card, I was scared to death to show it to Mom. To my shock, she glanced at it and didn’t seem that upset. Later, when pressed, she told me “A ‘C’ means ‘average’ – if you are satisfied being ‘average’ – okay then. But ‘average’ people don’t lead extraordinary lives.” I never brought home less than an “A” again.

5. How to Study – In sixth grade, I was struggling a wee bit with social studies – committing dates to memory, etc. Mom actually came to school and sat next to me during class – to see how I behaved, took notes, etc. Later that night, she showed me HOW to take notes in class – and how to outline book chapters and match them up to my notes. This was HUGE for me – and served me well throughout high school and college. To this day, when reading for business, I am outlining it in my mind…and sometimes on paper.

6. Teamwork – With four kids, teamwork was critical – but Mom seemed to understand that as much as we were a team, we were also four individuals – with widely different likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, hobbies and talents. And she made room for all of it – going from concerts to baseball games to baton twirling lessons to debate club championships. She was multi-tasking, and teaching me to multi-task years before it became a buzz word.

It somehow seems appropriate that this year, to celebrate Mother’s Day, we’ve decided to go to Philadelphia for a day and see the Cezanne exhibit at the Philly Art Museum. After all, it was the first art museum she ever took me to see – after another of our favorite pastimes – a Phillies game!

Happy Mother’s Day!